


Starstruck

by Noodle_Soup_Bowl, The_Omni_Princess



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Bisexual, Blood and Injury, Confused Bisexual, Death, Developing Friendships, Fighting, Fluff, M/M, Missions, Oblivious Bucky, Oblivious Steve, Omnisexual, Sexuality Crisis, Slight torture, Somebody dies, Stucky - Freeform, Violence, confused omnisexual, gore?, grab the tissues, idk how to do tags lol, learning human things, leaving family behind, omnisexual writer, slow burn but not really, so much pain, star-people, they all live together, they are in love, they get hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noodle_Soup_Bowl/pseuds/Noodle_Soup_Bowl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Omni_Princess/pseuds/The_Omni_Princess
Summary: Bucky falls to Earth, meets people, makes friends, falls in love,  and everything goes wrong. Multiple times. Luckily for him, Steve is there to help him through it all.OrThe story where Steve and Bucky fall in love (aka every story in the NASBB ever, yet different)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 27
Kudos: 14
Collections: Not Another Stucky Big Bang 2020





	1. Saturn that frown upside down

**Author's Note:**

> Here my fic for the NotAnotherStuckyBigBang2020 !!! Spent so much time on it, and im very happy with the finished product :)
> 
> Welp, have fun reading some oblivious boys fall in love<3
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely WritingStoriesInMyHead, art by my dear The_Omni_Princess.
> 
> Thank you mods for making this event a thing!! It was such a good thing to have this year :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FIRST CHAPTER IS HERE 
> 
> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**_February 11._ **

A big shock wave hitting him, that was the last thing he remembered. He could still feel the tension coursing through his body from when it sent him flying through Earth's atmosphere.

His body was enveloped by something strange, something he had never felt before. When he tried to think about what had happened, he was stopped by a white wall in his memory and a dull pain in the back of his head.

He heard people talk not too far away. They sounded weird - heavy, unlike the light voices he was used to.

A name popped up in his mind - **⍀⟒⏚⟒☊☊⏃**.

The white wall started to crumble, and he saw glimpses of people - his people.

For a second, he heard a light voice. His sister’s voice.

The white wall collapsed, and his memories attacked him, leaving him helpless. He felt the shockwave again. More importantly, he remembered it. All of it.

Bucky gasped as a second name surfaced in his mind - **⌇⍜⋏⟟⟒⍀** **⋏⍜⎐⏃**.

Tears were streaming down his face now, immediately dissolving into the strange around him.

The image and voice of a man accompanied this second name. As soon as Bucky realized who this man was, his heart flew back into space.

His beautiful features struck him like a supernova explosion.

. . . Supernova?

There was something involving a supernova, he just couldn’t place it.

_Oh no_

_Oh no oh no please no_

The explosion in the distance, it was him. _Sonier._ He remembered it clearly now.

The garbage cluster flying around that weird planet, a sharp pin stabbing HIM in the heart. Supernova triggered. Boom.

The impact had thrown him to this strange planet. All he could remember from the landing was green, lots of green. Trees, he thought. 

He also remembered the color gray - a big square gray building. That's where the memories ended.

**⏚⎍☊☍⊬**

A third name. His own. It felt weird, hearing his own name in his head after forgetting it. Whatever happened after he crashed down to Earth definitely screwed with his brain. 

The water he was in did something to his body. Especially to his left arm. The whole limb was covered in blue and blood. It hurt, it burned, it felt like someone was trying to eat the skin there. The right one had a few weird spots, aside from his star-marks. It felt like his veins were filling up with something that didn’t belong there. It burned.

Somehow, he managed to open his eyes. Something clear was covering them. Goggles. His mouth and nose were also covered, with something weird brushing on and off.

_Wind?_

His body seemed to just… Accept it? His chest was moving up and down, his throat felt cold, but the wind didn’t make anything feel uncomfortable or painful. It just felt new and weird.

All he saw when he opened his eyes at first was garbage. Garbage squares, an entire room filled with garbage squares. They had weird lights, like how star-people looked like from a distance, and made loud noises, worsening his headache.

It was too much, everything he saw and heard was too much. 

People were saying things in a foreign language all around him. He instinctively switched over to their language.

_Who were they? Why was he in a room with them? Did they put him in the weird tube?_

They were wearing black suits and jackets with a red logo of some sorts, he didn’t recognize it, on them. That made him wonder, what was he wearing? So he looked down to his own body.

He was wearing something black too, with the same red logo in the middle of his chest. He didn’t remember putting it on, which meant someone else put it on him.

_Why? He was an adult, he could dress himself. Maybe they wanted to help him?_

Someone stopped in front of the glass tube.

"He's awake sir!" The man yelled, his voice slightly muffled by the glass.

"About time," an irritated voice spoke from across the room. "Drain the tube and open it."

"Yes sir."

The fluid around him started to flow away. The mask on his face fell off, and the glass tube opened.

He just stood there at first, not knowing what to do.

The man in front of him took the goggles off his face, unblocking his view. The man grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the tube roughly, not caring about his unstableness.

"Tell us your name," the irritated man from earlier ordered.

" **⏚⎍☊☍⊬** " he muttered back, looking at the floor. The man scared him, he made everything blurry and painful and too much and-

"Now in English." 

It took him a second to come up with the translation, but he figured it out. He didn’t want the man to hurt him, there was too much pain in his body already. 

"Bucky."

"Bucky. You are ours now. You will be trained and fight for us. Understood?"

_What does he mean? Why does he think he can control him? Stars are free. Fallen Stars are free too. Then why is this man saying that he is theirs?_

Bucky shook his head.

"No? That's not an option," the man stated.

  
  
  


Bucky’s hands started to glow with the intent of taking the man down when something clasped around his neck. Something metal that made the same noises as the big garbage machines.

He started to shiver, the cold thing around his neck stopping the wind from moving in and out of his body. 

The metal scared him,and stopped his hand from glowing. The glowing had always been there when he needed it, and this thing just stole it. He hated it, his powers were his, he needed them, all Stars needed their powers. 

His knees buckled. The world slowly moved around him. He tried to claw at the metal, desperate to get it off, but his hands wouldn't move. Everything felt numb.

He felt the cold floor on the right side of his face. It felt horrible, the kind of cold that almost burned his skin. He stayed still for a few seconds, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they would leave him alone.

They didn't.

Instead, he felt someone lift him up and push him back into the glass tube, where he was held up by chains, cold metal clasping around his wrists and ankles.

Unable to protest or fight back, Bucky retreated to a corner of his mind as a means to block out what was happening to and around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter! Have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudo's and comments are appreciated <3 )


	2. Are you from outer space? Because your beauty is breathtaking.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucky is saved by a certain group of heroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA CHAPTER TWO
> 
> HAVE FUN READING

Bucky woke up a few hours later, his mind foggy. Something was stinging in his nose, the feeling flowing down through his throat.  He wanted to touch it, but his hands and feet were still chained, preventing him from moving .  He couldn't move. He was stuck. 

A loud alarm blared through the room, red lights shined, and the men from earlier ran around, yelling things at other men with garbage things in their arms. 

_ What’s happening? What are they doing with the machines? _

Bucky felt paralyzed. There was something more than the chains stopping him from moving. It felt as if his brain was disconnected from his body. He couldn't even talk. He felt  _ helpless _ .

All he could do was watch. Watch as the men panicked, ran around and grabbed metallic black things. There was so much noise around him, he just wished he could shut it all out.

Space was quiet. Hearing this much sound was new, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“What do we do with him?” 

“Leave him there, we have more important things to worry about right now.”

And with that, the room was empty. For now.

  
  
  


Stick to the plan, they said. Just in-and-out, they said. Bullshit. It was all bullshit. 

When Steve and Sam broke down the door, there was at least double the amount of Hydra than Fury predicted there would be. 

Why? There was no obvious reason. Yet.

“Fucking hell!” He heard Sam yell over the comms. The static had gotten worse and worse the further they got farther into the building. Motherfuckers probably set up some frequency jammer or something. 

Steve bodyslammed an agent and hit another one in the face with his shield, but somehow neither was unconscious. He sighed, shooting both of them in their shoulders before running further down the hallway. 

“Stev… Found…. East side… Need help..” Tony’s voice came over the comms, completely broken up and lost in the static. Steve rushed towards the East side, having heard enough to know that either Tony was in trouble, or he found someone who was. “I’m here!” he yelled, taking down another agent. 

“Over here!” Tony shouted back, from somewhere from the right. 

The room Tony was in was an absolute wreck. There was glass and water all over the floor, pieces of weapons and bullets were everywhere, and at least two computers had exploded. 

“Where did all the glass come from?” Steve asked, as he stepped into the room and  _ oh- _

_ That’s where the glass came from. _

He looked at the full-sized tube in front of him, half broken and oozing water, and a man. A man, half-standing, half-hanging, chained to the wall. He was covered in frostbite and glass cuts, and didn’t appear to be conscious. 

“Couldn’t break the glass without hurting him Tony?”

“The opening button was broken!” 

“You should’ve been more careful!”

“Shut up and get him to the jet, Rogers. I’ll take care of all of this here.” Tony gestured at the Hydra agent who (unfortunately for him) walked in at that moment. He blasted the agent right in the chest, gesturing with his other hand for Steve to hurry up.

And ten minutes later, Steve was outside, carrying a guy he didn’t know into the Quinjet. 

His comms came back on fully, and he could hear the fighting sounds from his team.

“Steve! You got him to the jet?” he heard Tony’s voice crackle in his ear.

“Who? Got -goddamnit Tony- got who to the jet?” Clint’s furious fighting sounds were louder than his talking, causing a short silence on the comms.

“This guy I found in some sort of lab area, I think he was being tested on or something.”

“Is he okay?” Natasha asked, sounding as calm as always, in the middle of a _ fucking battle against Hydra fuckers who appearantly experiment on people _ .

Steve’s blood was boiling. For one, Hydra always pissed him off. Two, experiments on (seemingly) innocent people?? What the fuck?? 

He unlocked the tailgate of the jet, carrying the man inside, and putting him down on the bench. No reaction whatsoever. 

He looked like hell: beat up, frostbitten, and soaked to the bone.

The second Steve turned away, he heard a noise.

“Are you okay?” 

Silence.

“Sir, are you okay?”

The man just stared at him, his eyes wide in confusion.

“My name is Steve. Can you tell me yours?”

“Bucky.”

Okay, well, that was something he could work with.

“Bucky, are you okay? Is it alright if I help you treat your wounds?”

He nodded. 

Carefully eyeing Bucky, he grabbed a first-aid kit. The main thing he focused on was keeping his movements calm and controlled, the last thing he needed was a one-on-one fight with a traumatized, injured person who probably wasn’t thinking straight right now. 

He slowly cleaned the blood and water up, trying to cause minimal pain while pulling out little pieces of glass. 

“Hurts.” 

“I’m sorry, Bucky. Can you tell me where you’re from? Where do you live?”

More silence. Bucky just stared at what Steve’s hands were doing. 

And after a few minutes, with his arms and legs almost fully bandaged, he fell asleep. No dramatics, no sound, he just laid down on the bench and passed out. 

Steve almost felt obliged to cover him with a blanket. So he did. 

It made him feel something. A little spark of heat in his chest. He couldn’t quite name it, but it was nice. Just a little odd.

They arrived at the Avengers Base, a completely new area with a compound for training and work, and a Tower for the Avengers to live in. For Steve this was normal, it was his temporary home, but for Bucky? He was staring at the buildings around him in shock.

They’d flown there in the quinjet, so Bucky hadn’t seen anything from this world, except for the Hydra base he’d crashed into a few days prior. 

He wasn’t scared though. He had always been one for learning new things.

Steve was carrying Bucky bridal style, due to the sedation still in his system.

The only thing Bucky could move were his eyes, and even those movements were slow. Should he close them and just sleep?

For some reason he felt safe in Steve’s arms. So he closed his eyes. 

  
  
  


**Chapter 3**

**_February 14._ **

The air felt cold on Bucky’s face, but somehow the rest of his body was warm. Strange. 

“I think he’s awake, Marcia?” he heard a voice say. It sounded oddly familiar, like he’d heard it before, but right now his head felt like it was filled with fog. He couldn’t think straight. 

Opening his eyes, he mentally dug through the voices he knew. There was mom, dad, Becca, the guy in the machine suit, and….. Steve? yeah. Steve.

The guy that carried him out of the torture place, the bad place with the bad guys that chained him up and took away his powers.

He looked at Steve. 

“Hey. Bucky, was it?” 

  
“Yes.” His voice was barely more than a breath.

“How are you feeling?”

He shrugged, blinking slowly to try and get rid of the fog in his head. 

“Right, yeah, Marcia over here gave you some morphine to help numb the pain, that’s probably why everything feels fuzzy.” 

Silence. 

Bucky frowned. Morphine? It sounded like a name for something.

“It’s-.. You don’t know what it is, do you?” a woman spoke from across the room. She was wearing a weird loose-fitting suit, blue-colored and nothing like he’d ever seen.

“Hi Bucky, i’m Marcia. I’m your nurse,” she stuck her hand out. “Morphine stops your body from hurting.”

He flinched. 

Was she going to hit him?

The atmosphere in the room changed completely after that. It went from calm to stiff and uncomfortable in a second. 

They looked at each other, Bucky waiting to be hit while Marcia tried to process what he was doing. 

After a minute or so, she realized. 

“Oh jeez, I am so sorry. I was not going to hit you,I promise. I’m here to help you recover from your injuries,” she spoke, her voice a little softer and filled with sorrow. 

She reminded him of Mom. 

He felt the need to tell her that.

“Mom.” 

“What… what do you mean?”

“You like mom.” 

“I’ve never met your m-”

Steve smiled. “I think he means you’re like his mother.” 

Bucky nodded, picking at the bandages on his legs. 

He kept picking, until it started to hurt. Then he tried to- 

His arm. His arm was gone. His left arm was completely gone. He couldn’t remember, where did it go what happe-

A hand on his shoulder. His left shoulder.

“Breathe,” Steve made eye contact with him for a few seconds. “You lost it because of the frostbite.” 

“What?” 

“Frostbite. It’s a bad kind of pain that kept hurting your arm until we had to take it off.” 

And now he looked even more confused.

“Maybe we need to find a different way of communicating?” Marcia questioned.

“Drawing?” Steve suggested, and he got up to get a notepad.

Indeed. They needed to communicate a different way, and looking at the full notepad pages, drawing was the way to go.

They were scribbled full. Little drawings of stick figures, stars and planets, Hydra agents and even a little Steve filled the paper. 

The pencil Bucky was holding was slowly starting to get shorter.

“What about the glowing in your arms? Can you tell us something about that?” 

He started scribbling again. A big star, a little stickman with circle hands and an arrow connecting the two.

“You get your powers from the stars?”

“Yes.” He mumbled, flipping the page to a blank one. 

He drew more and more, answering questions Steve and Marcia asked. Over two hours later, the notepad was practically filled with drawings. 

Marcia gently pushed Bucky back into the pillows, taking the pad and pencil out of his hand.

“Bad?”

“No, you need to rest. It’s late,” she smiled. “I’m going to give you a little more morphine, okay?” 

The room was warm, and over time Bucky’s head had gotten fuzzier. He felt exhausted to the bone, rest didn’t seem like such a horrible idea. He nodded, nestling into the pillows.

Steve stood up, grabbing his stuff. 

“Stay.” Bucky demanded. “Please?”

And he did. Steve stayed, pretty much every day for a week.

**_February 22._ **

Today, Bucky was going to walk. Marcia was going to take him to a room where they would teach him how to. 

In space, he barely walked. Only half-walked over big satellites or rocks. So they had to teach him. 

The door opened. She was here. Bucky lifted himself in the wheelchair that she’d pushed next to the bed. He felt excited, and scared. 

She was pushing him out of the room, through an empty hallway, into a room he hadn’t been to before.

It was big, with machines and…. elec…  _ electronics? That’s what they were called, right? _

Instead of pushing him to the electronics, she pushed him to a mat, with two bars at hip height, with just enough space in between them to walk. 

At first he just sat there, not knowing what to do. He wasn’t used to actually  _ weighing something _ . He was used to feeling agile, floating through space.

He was about to turn around towards the nurse, when he felt her hands under his right arm, and just under his left shoulder, awkwardly trying to find leverage at the cut off body part. She lifted him up, causing him to panic. He instantly clutched the right bar for all it’s worth, almost losing his balance when she slowly pushed his legs onto the mat. 

“Go on, just try to step forward, I'll help you,” she smiled at him, and moved to the side of the left bar. 

Bucky took a deep breath, looking at the mat in front of him as if it was a ravine. His brain was telling him to go for it, while his whole body was refusing to do so. 

He tried to move his entire leg forward, but only managed to nudge his right foot forward a bit. He looked to his left for reassurance, _was he not gonna die doing this?_

Marcia nodded encouragingly. 

Telling himself to breathe, he leaned his upper body forward, shuffling forward like a child that’s too tired to walk normally.

Eyes focussing on the mat under his feet, Bucky tried not to think about how  _ helpless  _ and  _ inferior  _ he felt. Instead, he just kept on moving forth, until the mat stopped.

He stood up straight, staring at the floor in front of him, completely disoriented.

_ How did he get to the end so fast? That was way easier than expected?  _

  
  


He probably should’ve been more careful with his thinking.

“Great! That was way faster than expected!” She praised him. Bucky looked at her, a small smile appearing on his face. “Maybe you can try and walk to the wall by yourself?

He’d gotten a bit too confident by his victory before, so he nodded, taking his right hand off of the bar. He blinked, set his left foot forward an inch, and the next thing he knew, his face was on the cold floor. 

Marcia knelt down beside him, and rolled him onto his back. 

Shivers ran down his spine, and for a second he was scared of freezing, the  _ blue, the ice all over his body, icy cold burn, blue on his skin, burning blood everywhere -  _

“Mr. Barnes?” 

He looked at her, letting go of the intrusive thoughts as much as he could. A bit drowsy from the fall, he smiled. It felt like someone had shaken the world just to make him fall. 

“Guess that was a bit too soon, huh,” She sighed, but didn’t look disappointed. “Can you get up by yourself?” 

Bucky let out a soft huff, shaking his head. His arm was sore, and he could feel bruises coming up on his knees.

“You have to try, at least,” she smiled, a playful twinkle appearing in her eyes. 

_ Was she challenging him? Bucky never backed down from a challenge. _

The weight of his left side was keeping him on the floor, so he shifted his weight to his right side and  _ oh! _ there he goes. He’s sitting up!

“Told you.” Marcia was smiling again. She looked proud.

  
  


When he returned to Steve’s floor in the tower, he walked in on Steve reading books. Like, a lot of books. Colorful books, notebooks, paper and writing utensils were stacked in a see-through box next to Steve. 

“What?” 

“Oh, hey Bucky! How was it?” Steve walked over to him and handed him a small notebook.

Bucky smiled back, and started drawing what he did today.

Soon it became a routine. Everyday, Marcia would pick Bucky up for physical therapy, then he would return and draw it out for Steve. Afterwards they would eat lunch together, followed by learning something new.

Since that day, learning how to write and read was added to the schedule. They’d look at books, images, and practiced the alphabet so much that Bucky had to take breaks to stop his hand from hurting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the second chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	3. I took Astronomy to count all the stars in your eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucky heals and rehabilitates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 3

**_February 14._ **

The air felt cold on Bucky’s face, but somehow the rest of his body was warm. Strange. 

“I think he’s awake, Marcia?” he heard a voice say. It sounded oddly familiar, like he’d heard it before, but right now his head felt like it was filled with fog. He couldn’t think straight. 

Opening his eyes, he mentally dug through the voices he knew. There was mom, dad, Becca, the guy in the machine suit, and….. Steve? yeah. Steve.

The guy that carried him out of the torture place, the bad place with the bad guys that chained him up and took away his powers.

He looked at Steve. 

“Hey. Bucky, was it?” 

  
“Yes.” His voice was barely more than a breath.

“How are you feeling?”

He shrugged, blinking slowly to try and get rid of the fog in his head. 

“Right, yeah, Marcia over here gave you some morphine to help numb the pain, that’s probably why everything feels fuzzy.” 

Silence. 

Bucky frowned. Morphine? It sounded like a name for something.

“It’s-.. You don’t know what it is, do you?” a woman spoke from across the room. She was wearing a weird loose-fitting suit, blue-colored and nothing like he’d ever seen.

“Hi Bucky, i’m Marcia. I’m your nurse,” she stuck her hand out. “Morphine stops your body from hurting.”

He flinched. 

Was she going to hit him?

The atmosphere in the room changed completely after that. It went from calm to stiff and uncomfortable in a second. 

They looked at each other, Bucky waiting to be hit while Marcia tried to process what he was doing. 

After a minute or so, she realized. 

“Oh jeez, I am so sorry. I was not going to hit you,I promise. I’m here to help you recover from your injuries,” she spoke, her voice a little softer and filled with sorrow. 

She reminded him of Mom. 

He felt the need to tell her that.

“Mom.” 

“What… what do you mean?”

“You like mom.” 

“I’ve never met your m-”

Steve smiled. “I think he means you’re like his mother.” 

Bucky nodded, picking at the bandages on his legs. 

He kept picking, until it started to hurt. Then he tried to- 

His arm. His arm was gone. His left arm was completely gone. He couldn’t remember, where did it go what happe-

A hand on his shoulder. His left shoulder.

“Breathe,” Steve made eye contact with him for a few seconds. “You lost it because of the frostbite.” 

“What?” 

“Frostbite. It’s a bad kind of pain that kept hurting your arm until we had to take it off.” 

And now he looked even more confused.

“Maybe we need to find a different way of communicating?” Marcia questioned.

“Drawing?” Steve suggested, and he got up to get a notepad.

Indeed. They needed to communicate a different way, and looking at the full notepad pages, drawing was the way to go.

They were scribbled full. Little drawings of stick figures, stars and planets, Hydra agents and even a little Steve filled the paper. 

The pencil Bucky was holding was slowly starting to get shorter.

“What about the glowing in your arms? Can you tell us something about that?” 

He started scribbling again. A big star, a little stickman with circle hands and an arrow connecting the two.

“You get your powers from the stars?”

“Yes.” He mumbled, flipping the page to a blank one. 

He drew more and more, answering questions Steve and Marcia asked. Over two hours later, the notepad was practically filled with drawings. 

Marcia gently pushed Bucky back into the pillows, taking the pad and pencil out of his hand.

“Bad?”

“No, you need to rest. It’s late,” she smiled. “I’m going to give you a little more morphine, okay?” 

The room was warm, and over time Bucky’s head had gotten fuzzier. He felt exhausted to the bone, rest didn’t seem like such a horrible idea. He nodded, nestling into the pillows.

Steve stood up, grabbing his stuff. 

“Stay.” Bucky demanded. “Please?”

And he did. Steve stayed, pretty much every day for a week.

**_February 22._ **

Today, Bucky was going to walk. Marcia was going to take him to a room where they would teach him how to. 

In space, he barely walked. Only half-walked over big satellites or rocks. So they had to teach him. 

The door opened. She was here. Bucky lifted himself in the wheelchair that she’d pushed next to the bed. He felt excited, and scared. 

She was pushing him out of the room, through an empty hallway, into a room he hadn’t been to before.

It was big, with machines and…. elec…  _ electronics? That’s what they were called, right? _

Instead of pushing him to the electronics, she pushed him to a mat, with two bars at hip height, with just enough space in between them to walk. 

At first he just sat there, not knowing what to do. He wasn’t used to actually  _ weighing something _ . He was used to feeling agile, floating through space.

He was about to turn around towards the nurse, when he felt her hands under his right arm, and just under his left shoulder, awkwardly trying to find leverage at the cut off body part. She lifted him up, causing him to panic. He instantly clutched the right bar for all it’s worth, almost losing his balance when she slowly pushed his legs onto the mat. 

“Go on, just try to step forward, I'll help you,” she smiled at him, and moved to the side of the left bar. 

Bucky took a deep breath, looking at the mat in front of him as if it was a ravine. His brain was telling him to go for it, while his whole body was refusing to do so. 

He tried to move his entire leg forward, but only managed to nudge his right foot forward a bit. He looked to his left for reassurance, _was he not gonna die doing this?_

Marcia nodded encouragingly. 

Telling himself to breathe, he leaned his upper body forward, shuffling forward like a child that’s too tired to walk normally.

Eyes focussing on the mat under his feet, Bucky tried not to think about how  _ helpless  _ and  _ inferior  _ he felt. Instead, he just kept on moving forth, until the mat stopped.

He stood up straight, staring at the floor in front of him, completely disoriented.

_ How did he get to the end so fast? That was way easier than expected?  _

  
  


He probably should’ve been more careful with his thinking.

“Great! That was way faster than expected!” She praised him. Bucky looked at her, a small smile appearing on his face. “Maybe you can try and walk to the wall by yourself?

He’d gotten a bit too confident by his victory before, so he nodded, taking his right hand off of the bar. He blinked, set his left foot forward an inch, and the next thing he knew, his face was on the cold floor. 

Marcia knelt down beside him, and rolled him onto his back. 

Shivers ran down his spine, and for a second he was scared of freezing, the  _ blue, the ice all over his body, icy cold burn, blue on his skin, burning blood everywhere -  _

“Mr. Barnes?” 

He looked at her, letting go of the intrusive thoughts as much as he could. A bit drowsy from the fall, he smiled. It felt like someone had shaken the world just to make him fall. 

“Guess that was a bit too soon, huh,” She sighed, but didn’t look disappointed. “Can you get up by yourself?” 

Bucky let out a soft huff, shaking his head. His arm was sore, and he could feel bruises coming up on his knees.

“You have to try, at least,” she smiled, a playful twinkle appearing in her eyes. 

_ Was she challenging him? Bucky never backed down from a challenge. _

The weight of his left side was keeping him on the floor, so he shifted his weight to his right side and  _ oh! _ there he goes. He’s sitting up!

“Told you.” Marcia was smiling again. She looked proud.

  
  


When he returned to Steve’s floor in the tower, he walked in on Steve reading books. Like, a lot of books. Colorful books, notebooks, paper and writing utensils were stacked in a see-through box next to Steve. 

“What?” 

“Oh, hey Bucky! How was it?” Steve walked over to him and handed him a small notebook.

Bucky smiled back, and started drawing what he did today.

Soon it became a routine. Everyday, Marcia would pick Bucky up for physical therapy, then he would return and draw it out for Steve. Afterwards they would eat lunch together, followed by learning something new.

Since that day, learning how to write and read was added to the schedule. They’d look at books, images, and practiced the alphabet so much that Bucky had to take breaks to stop his hand from hurting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the first chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	4. Can’t hear you, I’m Neptune-ing you out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucky recovers and Steve helps him learn about human things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWOWOW CHAPTER 4 ALREADY??? BRUH WTF THIS IS GOING FAST

**_March 14._ **

“So…. technically, he’s an alien,” 

“Clint! You can’t just say stuff like that,” Natasha scolded him, nudging his shoulder with her hand until he was forced to sit on the floor.

“What? It’s true!” 

They were all sitting in the living room, spread over couches and chairs with a shit ton of snacks on the table. Yes, Friday night was a relaxing night.

Bucky smiled and shakily wrote  _ Aliens _ next to the drawing he made of him and his family. He looked up at Steve for affirmation. The letters were wobbly and uneven, but they were readable. Barely. 

Nothing, no reaction. Steve, being the oblivious bastard he was, didn’t notice and kept talking with Tony.

Bucky sighed, resting his hand on the cold floor he was sitting on. 

“Steve.” Sam spoke, nodding his head towards the notebook. 

“Oh shit, yeah,” Steve smiled, looking at the letters. “Hey! Good job Buck, your writing is getting better everyday.” 

He wasn’t lying. Steven Grant Rogers just talked like that. 

It took another hour before they all started to feel tired. It had been a long day, and even though they all wanted to stay and talk, even heroes needed sleep.

“Sweet dreams everyone!” 

“Goodnight!” 

“Sleep well!” 

Bucky swallowed, taking in a deep breath. 

“Night,” he whispered, quickly stepping behind Steve.

They all smiled. 

Sure, Bucky was an alien, and while he didn’t know shit about humans and their norms,that didn’t take away from him being a sweet person, and incredibly powerful, therefore a gem to train for the team. 

And frankly, they were all starting to love him.  _ Especially Steve. _

What happened the day after made that love even stronger. 

**_March 15._ **

Bucky huffed out a breath, laying his head on his arm. They were sitting at the wooden table, the one he despised because he related it to the constant feeling of confusion and headaches he got there. The book of colors and letters was laid out, opened in front of him. Steve was sitting at the table, but there was one chair between them. 

_ Why was there an empty chair between them? _

He quickly decided that he didn’t like it. His eyes darted up to Steve’s, silently begging him to get closer and occupy the empty chair. Steve didn’t seem to get his mentally projected message though, so he frowned and looked at the empty seat, then back at Steve. Bruce, who was sitting at the opposite end, did notice Bucky’s pleading. 

“Steve. The chair.” Bruce whispered.

“What’s wrong with the chair?” 

“Nothing, he wants you to sit next to him.”

“Oh.”

Steve looked back at Bucky. They made eye contact for a solid second before Bucky started giggling under his breath. 

“Fine then, if you want to play it like that,” Steve crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow. “I’m not moving. Are you?”

Bucky’s eyes flicker to the book for a second, then to the chair, contemplating whether or not it was worth the energy. 

Bruce’s phone, which had been lying face down on the table for the entire time, was now up, and recording the interaction. If Bucky were to move, he’d send the recording to Marcia as a “progress recording”.

And finally, Bucky moved. But he didn’t move to the chair, he moved straight to Steve’s lap. 

His eyes twinkled.  _ ‘I moved. I won.’  _

Electricity seemed to shoot through Steve’s body, making his head foggy with confusion. He laid his hand on Bucky’s waist, subconsciously pulling him closer. Bucky didn’t seem to mind though, he just let his head rest against Steve’s chest, reaching for the word cards on the table, and looking at them one by one. 

He ended up learning a lot more than expected that day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the fourth chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	5. Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucy makes something and Steve has to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> c h a p t er 5
> 
> i am sorry in advance <3

**_June 4._ **

Bucky looked at the soft yellow glow of his Star-energy in his hand, softly shaping the heat into a circle. Earlier, when he saw Steve wearing a bracelet, he got inspired. If Steve wears a bracelet, he must like it, right? So maybe, if he makes one for Steve, he will forgive him for being mad at Letters yesterday.

_ “Alright. Q is just an O with a tail, see?” _

_ “Cat?” _

_ “Yeah just like a cat,” Steve smiled, watching as Bucky traced the letter in his notebook. “There you go. The next one is an R.”  _

_ “No.” Bucky frowned, the R looked too complicated to him, too many lines.  _

_ “What do you mean? Is something wrong?”  _

_ “R stupid.” _

_ Steve looked between the notebook and the lettercards, silently trying to figure out why the R was stupid. _

_ “It’s just-” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Bucky wh-” _

_ “No!”  _

_ They stared at each other for a solid minute, both contemplating walking away. _

_ “How’s writing going over her-” Sam cut himself off and walked right out the door after seeing the Death Staring Contest happening at the table.  _

_ This was a fight. A non-verbal, passive-aggressive fight. And neither of them liked it.  _

So he got to work, and now here it was: a thin gold open bangle, with a Moon on one end and a Star on the other. 

He put it in the air, letting it float in place until it dried. The glow of the Star in it was subtle, and Bucky could feel the connection between his and the bracelet’s Energy. 

He decided to give the bracelet to Steve immediately, but when he arrived at the living room he was met with an unpleasant sight. 

The group was getting ready. 

They were wearing their suits, big maps and blueprints were projected onto a wall, and weapons were laid over the dinner table. 

“Steve?” Bucky whispered, clasping his hand around the bracelet as a form of comfort.

Steve turned around and holy shit-

He looked good. 

His suit was different from the red-white-blue one he’d worn when saving Bucky, this suit was completely black. 

“Bucky? I was searching for you earlier, I couldn’t find y-”

“What?” Bucky’s sight started to get blurry, and,  _ oh, _ his hand was shaking, why was it shaking?

“We’re going on a mission. A stealth mission not too far from here, we’ll be back before you know we were gone,” Steve smiled, and stepped towards Bucky.

Bucky stepped back.

“Why.” He was frowning, something wet was rolling down his face. When it reached his mouth, he tasted the salt. Tears, right? Yeah. He was crying. 

_ “Crying is when someone is so sad, that their brain doesn’t know how to express it. So, it throws emotions away through water that comes out of your eyes,” Marcia explained, looking at Bucky as they were sitting on the floor.  _

_ He’d fallen when trying to walk again. It made him sad, for no good reason.  _ _   
_ _ When he started crying, he almost blasted something out of shock. He never cried, didn’t know what it was, and definitely didn’t like it. It scared him, so Marcia explained it to him.  _

_ “Don’t like.” _

_ “Yeah. Nobody really likes crying, to be honest. “ Marcia smiled. “It’s annoying, and once you start you can barely stop.”  _

He was shaken out of his memory by Steve’s voice. 

“Why are you crying? Bucky? Is something wrong?” he sounded genuinely concerned. 

“Don’t want you to go!” Bucky whimpered, stepping towards Steve and laying his hand on his chest. On the Avengers logo, tinted gray, and on the soft fabric of the suit. He leaned his head forwards, resting it next to his hand, tilted to the side so he wasn’t facing Clint, Natasha, and Sam. 

Steve looked down at Bucky causing the warm sparks in his chest to triple, everything going warm and fuzzy making him dizzy and-

“Steve. We, I'm sorry, we have to go.” Sam’s voice wasn’t as steady as normal. 

Silence. 

Bucky’s soft cries were the only sound in the entire room. 

“Hey. It’s going to be okay, promise,” Steve whispered. “when I get back, we’ll continue writing the story together, just like you wanted to, okay?”

A soft “Yes” came from Bucky.

He gave the bracelet. His hand was still shaking, his head hurt from crying, and his feet were tapping on the cold floor.

“Oh. What is-” Steve cut himself off. “Thank you.” 

‘I love you’ he said. In his head. Where nobody could hear it. 

He clicked the bracelet around his wrist, smiling at Bucky. 

Just for a few seconds, they stared at each other.

Steve was contemplating leaning forward, kissing him, gently grabbing his face and, oh, his hand moved up and-

“Steve, come on man,” Clint laughed. “If you don’t get your ass into the Quinjet with us, I will personally call Tony and ask him to do it for me.”

Everyone laughed.    
Steve and Bucky didn’t. 

They stared at each other.

Steve left. 

Bucky stayed home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the fifth chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	6. Let’s get astrophysical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where bad things happen and Steve cries. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6
> 
> i am satan.
> 
> sorry.

**_August 12._ **

Bucky was floating in space, enjoying everything. Just delighting in the fact that he was home. He was so happy that Steve brought them here.

The black void around them wasn’t scary for him. It felt as if everything was back to normal, even though everything was weirder than ever. He had come here with Steve. 

Bucky twirled through space, looking for the spaceship, almost hitting the front window. He stopped just in time, locking eyes with Steve.

There was a strange emotion in Steve’s eyes that gave Bucky chills. Goosebumps. The look was similar to the one his sister gave him, but different nonetheless. 

Then Steve looked away. 

Bucky smiled, not breaking out of the bright mood he was in. Floating, as if he weighed nothing, he reached out to a rock. It drifted above his head, so he reached out with his right hand, since his left wasn’t…... available.

That’s when something pierced through his chest, right through the place where his heart was.

Surprisingly, it didn't hurt him that much, it just felt a little weird and stingy. 

Bucky looked down at his chest, slightly confused. The thing was metal, probably something that broke off of a satellite or a spaceship. It was just bad luck that it stabbed him. 

Then he looked at Steve. Back down to his chest, then back to Steve again. 

Steve was staring at him. Maybe he was crying, Bucky couldn’t see if he was, everything was blurry. 

He was already starting to glow, he didn’t have much time left.

_ Steve had to get to a safe place. Right now. _

He flew towards the ship again, unstable and shaky. The stingy feeling had developed, it felt like someone was ripping his chest open. 

He put his hand on the front window, shivering from the sudden coldness he felt. 

“Steve?” He coughed violently, splattering blood on the glass. 

Steve nodded, and Bucky saw it clearly this time. Steve was crying.

“Go away. G- Get back to earth..” Bucky stammered. 

“No! I won’t just leave you here to die!” Steve yelled, getting closer to the glass.

“You have to! Please just g-” His breath hitched. “-go…. please” With his voice just a bit louder than a whisper, Steve could barely hear him.

“Okay,” He uttered. “Bye, Buck.” Allowing himself to stare at Bucky a few seconds more, he let his hand rest on the cold glass, brain not comprehending what was about to happen.

He turned around and said something, but Bucky couldn’t hear it. All he could hear was a loud ringing.

He let himself drift backwards, keeping his eyes fixated on the spaceship. 

His glowing had gotten brighter, the pain had gotten worse, his sight was blocked by black spots. Everything hurt.

So he looked at Steve one last time, really _ looked _ at him, then closed his eyes.

  
  


Steve felt the spaceship moving rapidly, but to him it felt like time had stopped. He watched Bucky drift in the pretty colored background, although he didn’t pay attention to that. All he could look at was Bucky, lightning up the black void around them. 

The distant glow of his body became brighter, unbearably bright. Steve turned away for a second, choking out a sob.

He felt the explosion rumbling through his body, his breath hitching for a second. He faced the window again, looking at the explosion, knowing that the body of his friend was in there somewhere. 

That’s when a thought hit him. 

_ He was mourning. His heart felt like someone had pulled it out of his chest. He felt empty and alone. All with all, he felt like he was missing a loved one. And not just a random loved one. So that means….. He’s in love with Bucky. _

Steve sat into the pilot’s chair and buckled the seatbelt tightly, looking up at the ship's roof to stop the tears from streaming down his face.

_ What a good time to realise that you love Bucky, dumbass. He just exploded. _

Crying was tiring. Maybe he should just.. close his eyes for a bit.

So he did.

He fell asleep, as curled up as he could be in that chair. 

  
  


**_August 13._ **

Steve missed Bucky. So much it physically hurt him, a tense feeling in his stomach, like his organs were trying to escape his body. 

He could deal with the pain. Physical pain was not a new thing for him, but the mental pain, that hit hard. He’d dealt with a couple of losses, yes. None of them were as painful as this one. 

Loss. The word felt, wrong. Wrong to use in a sentence, wrong to use in combination with Bucky.    
  
Bucky couldn’t be dead. 

Steve stood up with a random burst of energy and ran to the gym. Didn’t take the elevator, nope, he ran through the tower in his comfy clothes to go punch out some pent-up rage and possibly break a punching bag. 

Rage that, honestly, didn’t make sense to him, if he really thought about it. What was he mad about? What other emotion did he have the right to feel, when all he should feel was grief? 

And yet, he was. He was mad. Mad at the scrap in space, mad at the universe for taking his Bucky away from him. But mainly he was mad at himself, for taking Bucky to space, causing the whole situation in the first place.

Steve didn’t notice the blood dripping from his hands. The only thing his brain was focussing on was breaking the fucking bag. His hands weren’t wrapped, it didn’t matter. Pain was okay, he understood pain. It grounded him. He didn’t acknowledge the fact that Bucky asked him, asked to go to space.

Afterwards, when he looked at the damage he’d done, he didn’t feel bad. 

The bag was broken, the sand spread across the floor,  _ just like how it was in 2012,  _ no, don’t think about that. Don’t.

Blood had dripped on the floor, on his clothes, on his socks, everywhere. 

“Steve?” Sam’s voice came from behind him. 

Steve ran. Ran to his own room, away from all confrontation. 

He slid down against his bedroom door, the hard wood scraping his back. His legs were shaking, his entire body felt weak, like the muscles had dissolved. He’d been crying the entire time, non-stop, until five minutes ago. His tears ran out. 

So now, he was just sitting there in an oversized sweater, looking at the floor in front of him. He looked like a miserable pile of clothes at this point.

It was almost funny. Almost.

He played with the little bracelet Bucky gave him, fingers tracing the edges of the wooden beads. 

It was a weird experience, watching your lov-.... friend, explode. He hated it with every functioning braincell he had right now. 

_ Would not recommend it to anyone. 0/10.  _

He smiled at his attempt to cheer up, humor had always been his biggest coping mechanism. Right now though, there wasn’t much coping, it was more of a ‘I make fun of myself instead of crying’ thing going on.

He put the box on the floor next to his feet and buried his head in his arms, sitting like a child hiding their face. And he cried. Again. And he kept crying. 

This time the tears didn’t run out. Not until he fell asleep, at least. It wasn’t very comfortable, laying on his side, face on the cold wooden floor, but he was tired enough to make it work instead of dragging himself into bed. 

  
  
  
  
  


**_August 14._ **

Steve woke from a door slamming against his back, regretting every decision from last night. 

“Steve? Are you…. Lying on the floor here?” Sam’s head came into his view.

He mumbled a soft _ ‘Yeah i am’  _

“Okay…. Want to get up so I can come in?”

Steve pushed himself far enough so Sam could come in, but no further than that. Every goddamn muscle hurt. 

“Listen, I know it’s real heavy, mourning a loved one hurts, but shit like this is not going to help Steve.” Sam sighed and sat on the floor. 

_ A loved one? What the hell Sam. _

“Don’t even try to deny it, you love him. It was very obvious,” Steve looked up, locking eyes with Sam. “And I know for a fact that he loved you back.” 

  
  


They all looked at Steve with pity in their eyes. Not that he minded, not really at least. He probably looked pitiful, after all the non-stop crying and dried blood from the previous day.

Natasha had been the first one to talk to him after Sam. 

“Steve. You okay?” 

He shrugged. “Could be better.”

Then, she hugged him. She didn’t say anything, just allowed him to feel her warm and comforting arms around his shoulders

Her hug was a lot warmer than the ambience in the room, and he could feel his goosebumps disappearing. 

“We’re here for you, okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

She let go, softly squeezing his arm before walking away, giving the other Avengers some space to talk with Steve.

Tony talked to him while the rest left him alone, for now at least. 

Afterwards, when he was sitting on his bed, he realised that he barely remembered any of the conversations he had. He’d been zoned out the entire time. 

_ Oh well, whatever. Just need sleep. _

And that was how the days were going after that. Just one, big blurry mess, filled with dissociating, conversations he didn’t remember, and sleeping. He forgot to eat, his personal hygiene was horrible, and everything sucked. 

A big downwards spiral. 

Bucky died. He did. He really did. And it was time for Steve to stop denying it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the sixth chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	7. Why couldn’t the astronaut focus? He kept spacing out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Steve mourns a loved one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa sorry for last chapter
> 
> this one is... not better at all sorry <3

**_September 21._ **

_ “You were supposed to be there for him!” someone yelled, the voice way too close to Steve,almost deafening. _

_ Bucky was floating in the distance, for the third time this week. Covered in blood, with dim, golden light glowing around him.  _

_ Steve choked on his breath, clawing at the invisible force keeping him at a distance. He was shaking all over, everything felt cold, so cold, like how it was when he- _

_ The surroundings changed. This was new. _

_ He was in the ocean again. Drifting in the icy water, his body frozen, and his eyes wide open. He couldn’t blink, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything except watch as the Valkyrie sank deeper into the abyss. _

_ Everything hurt, stung, no matter how hard he tried to move his limbs, nothing worked, Bucky was there in the ocean with him, reaching from a distance, they were so close to touching and- _

He hit the floor with a loud thud. 

The cold bedroom floor. Of his own bedroom. Not buried in the ocean somewhere. 

At this point, he didn’t know whether he was happy about it or not. After all, he was so close to Bucky, if his dream just went on for a couple more seconds he could’ve…..

It was useless. The dream was over. None of it was real.

This was the first time he dreamed about the Valkyrie in months. Ever since Ultron, it didn’t scare him anymore. Apparently, Bucky’s death changed that.

It wasn’t for the good. But then again, Bucky was never supposed to die. They were supposed to go to space, have a fun time, stop his homesick feeling from developing, and go home. Steve went home. Alone. 

Rain pelted the window next to his bed. 

Steve breathed. He watched the rain trickle down the glass and just breathed. Just like how Marcia taught him and Bucky for when they felt anxious. 

Though it didn’t help much, Steve kept breathing steadily.

This anxiousness was too much for a simple breathing exercise to beat. He needed more, he needed to be calmer, he needed the intense pain to stop, he needed his Bucky back. But he  _ couldn’t.  _

He curled in on himself, pulling his knees up until they touched his chest, making him feel smaller than he was. It was comforting, sitting like that. Always had been. 

Minutes, hours, days could’ve passed, and Steve wouldn’t have noticed. He had his head rested on his knees, his arms around them, desperate for more comfort, more peace of mind. 

If only Steve had looked outside, because at that very moment, something happened. Something happened high in the sky, all the way to space, and it was bright. 

Steve didn’t see the Star being born again. He missed it completely, too absorbed in the comfort that was his own embrace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the seventh chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	8. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would have a galaxy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Bucky returns, but not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7.... already.... im slowly dying...... aaaaa...

**_September 21 (Space)_ **

The first few seconds after reappearing were horrible. Bucky’s whole body felt like it was on fire, his powers were out of control, and everything around him was too bright. He tried to take a deep breath, only to be stopped by emptiness. There was nothing to breathe. 

He was back in space. 

This was a situation where, if he were there, Steve would swear until his breath ran out. 

But Steve wasn’t there. Nobody was there. He was floating in space. Alone. 

He tried to gather his thoughts and memories, set them in the right order until it all made sense.

The last memory he had was from when died. That could’ve been years ago, for all he knew.

He just hoped it wasn’t. Because right now, he only had two choices.

Either fly around and search for his parents, or go back to Earth. Back to the life he was building, to the people he liked and loved. 

God it was hard, but he had to choose. 

He had to find his family. 

And he did.

**_October 19._ **

It had been weeks. Weeks of flying around, shivering when he passed a cold part, walking over floating rocks, and, most importantly, searching for his family. 

Just when he started to consider going to Earth, he found them. To say they were relieved would have been too light.

His mom started crying when she saw him. She hugged him, something she had never done before that day. They all hugged him. His dad, his sister, they were both smiling.

The consideration from earlier disappeared. 

**_November 25._ **

And again, weeks went by. Weeks of doing the exact same things as before he fell. That, and lots of talking. In English now, his mother language had become foreign to him. Talking to his parents, his sister, his friends. Trying to explain Earth to them, explain everything he had been through. They didn’t understand, and after a few conversations, he gave up. 

The only person who slightly understood was his sister.

“So, Steve is like Sonier.” Rebecca spoke, frowning as she tried to make sense of the scrambled story Bucky told. 

“No. Steve is better.” 

“Better how? You like him more? You used to be all over Sonier, what happened?” 

“Dunno.” Bucky shrugged, rolling his eyes at his sister's smile. 

Their parents were talking to some other Stars on a nearby asteroid. Every once in a while he could see them glancing at Rebecca and him, probably checking if they were still there and not off to Earth.

Or, as his parents liked to call it, _ ‘The terrible, scary place that totally fucked Bucky up’ _ , to put it roughly.

“Bucky, hello? You okay?” 

“Yes, Becca, i’m fine. I was just thinking about _ the scary place Bucky calls earth _ ,” Bucky smiled at her. “Mom and dad’s words, not mine.”

Rebecca laughed. She covered her mouth with a hand and started laughing very loudly, doubled over. Their parents looked over again, visibly concerned. 

A warm feeling bubbled in Bucky’s chest. He missed his sister more than his parents, to be honest. He was never close with them, especially not his dad. Dad was always working, helping other Stars and their children instead of his own. And then whined about how _ ‘he never got to spend time with his own kids’ _ . Fucking hypocrite. 

His mom was like a…. what did Marcia call it again? A therapist? Yeah, therapist. She constantly talked to people about their emotions and thoughts. Everytime Bucky tried to start a normal conversation with her, she managed to twist the subject until she could play therapist again. It was annoying. 

“Bucky I swear to the Sun, if you keep zoning out i’m going to blast you.” Becca giggled, playfully hitting him with small energy balls until he looked at her.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, throwing the energy back at her. “I’m just tired, I think.” 

“What…. What? What do you mean tired? Dude, we don’t need sleep, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“No I mean-... Nevermind.” He sighed.

He meant mentally. He was mentally drained. 

_ ‘You need to charge your mental battery, sleep works best.’ _ was what Marcia told him when he felt like this.

Rebecca didn’t tell him that. Rebecca didn’t understand. Rebecca was perfectly fine, not drained at all.

And the worst thing, he was jealous of it. 

**_December 5._ **

Eventually absolute boredom kicked in.

In space, he had nothing to do. They just floated, played games with rocks (like throwing them at Earth, sometimes he wondered whether Steve would see them land), and visit satellites. 

He wanted to go back. Go back to Earth, back to his friends, back to having fun and not being bored all day long. Go back to the people who were more like his family than his bloodline had ever been. 

And there it was again. The big choice. Technically, he had made it already. Deep down, he knew he couldn’t stay up here. He’d rather die again. But realistically, he had to think about it. 

What would guarantee Steve- they were all still alive? Again, for all he knew, it could have been a hundred years. 

What would guarantee his safety when he got back? What if Hydra got him again?

But no matter what consequences he thought of, nothing weighed up against the fact that he would see his friends again. 

It was a complete coincidence.

His parents had simultaneously chosen the worst and the best timing for this bullshit.

“Bucky. We need to talk.” His mom spoke, laying her hand on his shoulder. 

“Hm?” He looked over at his dad and his sister. His dad looked the same as always, but Becca…. Something was off, she looked sad.

“We’re moving. All of us.” Mom gestured to all of the Stars behind her. 

“Where- What do you mean?” He stuttered, shivering with anxiousness. 

“To another galaxy, far away from here,” Dad chimed in, floating closer to Bucky and mom.

“Oh.” 

_ Ouch. that hurt. He did not expect that at all.  _

They hadn't moved since he was a baby, which was roughly a 1000 years ago (or in human years, 30). 

“You don’t want to come with us, do you?” Rebecca whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. 

A moment of silence. Uncomfortable silence. Bucky hated this silence with his whole body, the silence he and Steve shared was better. He missed Steve. 

“‘m sorry Becca,” he smiled sadly. 

She floated towards him. 

“Why? Why can’t you come with us? Give me one good reason, for Sun’s sake!” She yelled in his face, glowing tears streaming down her pale skin. 

“Steve.” 

Rebecca’s face fell. Then she smiled. 

“Oh. I guess… that makes sense. Y-You just have to go back to Earth then,” She was fully crying now. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

He hugged her, pressing her head against his chest in a silent  _ ‘I love you, goodbye’. _

They cried together for a minute. When they let go of each other, his tears stopped. He made peace with possibly never seeing her again.

He mentally prepared to go. He hugged his parents, said his goodbyes. Let his mom cry, listen to his dad’s cold words of warning. Shivers constantly wrecked his body.  _ Anxious _ , that’s what Steve called it. He was nervous about what he was going to do. 

But he did it. 

  
He flew as close as he could come to Earth, going past the moon until Earth’s gravity started pulling him down.    
  
With a speed that would kill any normal human, he crashed into the ground, creating a big crater. Fire surrounded him, his skin was ripped open, blood was everywhere, and in a couple of seconds, his consciousness was slipping. He passed out. The last things on his mind were Becca and Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the eight chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	9. Where do planets download their music from? Neptunes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Steve saves Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chAPTER 8 BABYYYYYY
> 
> LETS GOOO
> 
> it gets better from now on, i promise :')

**_December 6_ ** .

It took them a day to find him. 24 hours. 1440 minutes.  86400 seconds. Way too long. 

Bucky crashed in Kentucky. Not too far from New York, thank God. It was only an hour flight with the jet, and the entire time, Steve was stressed. 

“Steve, man, sit down.” Sam sighed, patting the chair next to him. 

Steve didn’t answer. He kept pacing in between the cockpit and the weaponry at the back of the jet. 

“Steve if you don’t sit your ass down I will electrocute you. Don’t think I won’t.” threatened Natasha, a sympathetic smile resting on her face. 

Tony rolled his eyes, watching everything from the shotgun seat next to their  _ almighty pilot _ , Clint. 

“I’m just… worried, I guess. What if he’s gone already? Maybe Hydra got him again? What if he’s hurt? Like, verge of death hurt? I can’t lose him, not again, I don’t-” 

“Let me stop you there,” Clint interrupted Steve’s stress-speech. “Didn’t Bucky literally explain to us that he’s practically immortal? He only died because of the heart-stab thing, and even then he came back to life!”

Steve groaned, irritated with the absolute  _ dumbassery _ his teammate was showing. (Even though Clint was absolutely right, Steve was just being a concerned mother hen.)

“Yeah but what if he got impaled again?” he crossed his arms, trying to comfort himself to stop his eyes from tearing up. Captain America doesn’t cry in front of his teammates,  _ goddammit _ . 

“I think we would’ve noticed a fucking Supernova hapening directly on Earth, Cap,” Tony snapped. “Sit the fuck down, your boyfriend is fine.” 

“He’s not my boyf-” 

“Sit. Down.” 

  
  


Twenty minutes later, they arrived. Steve bolted out the jet as soon as it opened, running towards the huge crater. There were slowly dying fires everywhere, but he just jumped over them, trying not to burn his feet. 

The dirt was still warm, the grass was burned black, and thick gray clouds were hanging in the sky above them.

And there he was. In the middle of the crater.

“Bucky?” 

No answer. He was covered in blood, burns, and dirt. His eyes were closed.

Steve carefully lifted him up, his sight becoming blurry because of the fire-  _ oh _ . Nope, he was crying. Nevermind then. 

He ran back to the jet, holding Bucky close to his chest. 

“Is he okay?” Nat asked, unpacking a first-aid kit on the ground just in case.

“I don’t know, there’s blood, it’s sticking everywhere. He looks burnt but I don’t see frostbite, I hope he’s okay please check if he got impaled I can’t have him dying again ple-”

“Steve. Breathe. Put him down on the stretcher.” Sam looked into his eyes, commanding him around to calm him down. And Steve did. He calmed down and did everything he was supposed to do. After that, he just zoned out. 

Sitting down on the grass, he watched as Sam and Nat checked Bucky for injuries, half-listening to what Tony was telling him but not processing any of the words. 

“-on buddy, we’re going home, okay? Marcia will help him, he’s going to be alright,” Tony shook his shoulder a little. “Stand up Steve, we’re going.”

The world was blurry, the sounds he heard were muffled, the only thing he could clearly hear was the ringing in his ears. 

And Bucky. He tunnel-visioned on Bucky, watching him, checking the sloppily done bandages and the blood seeping through them. 

Now, all he would have to do was wait. Wait for things to be okay again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the ninth chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	10. You must be the sun because you’re the center of my universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where everything is okay., and then it isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEEP   
> MEEP  
> CHAPTER 10  
> MEEP

**_December 19._ **

It took a few days for Bucky to fully recover, even with his faster healing. While he rested in the big bed, IV in his hand, Steve didn’t leave his side any longer than a minute or two. 

After that, things went back to normal. Kind of. 

There was a lot of tension between Steve and Bucky for a while, the good kind of tension. The kind that warmed up the entire room when they walked in. The kind where you could see electricity sparkle every time they touched. 

“Hey! My favorite Star decided to drop by with his boyfriend huh,” Tony smirked and opened the doors to the lab. “I’ve been waiting for a while, thought you two would never show up.”

“We’re two minutes late Tony. Two minutes” Steve shot back, and Bucky stuck his tongue out. 

“Whoa, hey, no need to be aggressive there Chatterbox.” Tony walked into his lab, his hands up in a fake defence-stance. 

_ Chatterbox?  _

Bucky looked at Steve.

“It means someone who talks a lot. He’s calling you that because you’re the opposite of a Chatterbox.” Steve explained, carefully looking at his reaction. 

Bucky’s lips moved, but he didn’t make a sound. He was practicing the word, repeating it in his head until it sounded normal. 

The lab was bright. Lights were flickering on the walls, electronics and advanced tools were laying around everywhere. Every single table was filled, except for the two in the middle. 

It was cold in there. The kind of cold that is just on the edge of being uncomfortable for normal humans, for Bucky it was about five times worse than that. To him, it felt like little needles pricking every inch of his body, it hurt. 

Steve noticed Bucky pressing into his side, shivering himself when he felt the cold skin of Bucky’s hand against him. 

“Tony, mind turning up the heat? Buck looks like he’s about to freeze.”

“Sure, no problem,” The lab immediately felt warmer. “Mind getting up on the table Barnes?”

Bucky sat on the metal table, searching Steve’s eyes for some form of comfort while the mechanic got to work on his left arm. Steve, luckily, got the hint, and sat on the table next to Bucky.

  
  


When they walked out of the lab, Bucky had an arm. A metal arm to be precise. After losing his arm (again) when he crashed, this was perfect. 

“Thank you.” Bucky whispered, his voice not much louder than a breath. Tony just smirked in response as Steve hoisted Bucky up in his arms.

The arm was too heavy for now, he needed to start rehabilitating again to get used to the weight and start walking by himself. 

**_February 2._ **

Days went by, weeks went by, even a month went by. And then, the day where things went wrong again was there (not that any of them knew that, luckily)

Bucky was in a bad mood. And bad moods didn’t happen that much, but when they did? It wasn’t fun for Bucky and the Avengers, but Steve didn’t mind. Bad moods meant Bucky was clingy and even more silent than normal with him refusing to use writing or drawing to communicate. 

He acted like a child.

Luckily, Steve had learned how to deal with these moods. Bucky acted like a child, so they would do things children usually love. In this case, hide and seek.

“19, 20, here I come!” Steve said, his hands cupped around his mouth for extra volume. 

He looked around, skimming the living room and checking for any sign of the Hider. Nothing. So, he reached into his childhood memories, and started searching everywhere. They had made a deal, no hiding outside of the living room. Fortunately for Bucky, the living room was  _ huge _ .

An hour. It took Steve an hour to find Bucky. But he found him! And that was what mattered. Yeah. He just kept telling himself that, to not hurt his ego even more.

And where did Bucky hide? In the vents.

“God I regret letting you hang with Clint,” Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes at the small smile on Bucky’s face. “Don’t be like that, you lost! I found you!” He teased.

The frown that followed was hilarious. 

“Someone’s unhappy, what happened to Chatterbox over here?” Tony walked in, his hair messy, and his shirt covered in grease. 

Bucky stuck his tongue out at Tony and continued to try and stare Steve to death. Steve, being an  _ oblivious idiot  _ as always, didn’t notice the half-assed death threat. (Bucky could never hate Steve. Never.)

“He just lost a game of hide and seek,” 

“Did not.”

“Sore loser much? Next time you’ll win, I'm sure of it,” Tony chuckled. “By the way, Rogers, you have that mission tomorrow, and your suit is ready in my lab. Come pick it up, maybe bring over Bucky so I can babysit him?”

As the lighthearted banter kept going between the three me, neither of them noticed Natasha standing in the doorway. She smiled at the scene in front of her, and being the complete opposite of Steve, she did notice the death stare Steve was still receiving. She also noticed the amount of pure love Bucky radiated, though she would never tell them that. 

She walked out before they saw her.

  
  


**_February 9._ **

The jet looked like a big bird. Bucky liked birds, so the jet should be cool too right? The tailgate was opened for some reason, so he figured he could just walk in. what could possibly go wrong?

A lot. A lot went wrong.

It all started when he heard Steve and Natasha talk in the distance. The first thing he wanted to do was walk up to him, but then he thought about the game of hide and seek he lost the day before. This was the perfect chance for revenge. He had a plan now, hide and scare Steve. 

But unfortunately, Bucky didn’t sleep so well the night before, and after 10 minutes in his hiding spot he was fast asleep.

By the time he woke up, he could feel that his surroundings had changed. 

Bad news.

_ Very  _ bad news.

He could feel it in his bones.  _ He fucked up, big time. _

The jet was empty, everyone was gone, the tailgate was closed. The warm energy in Bucky’s veins was a stark contrast with the cold air in the jet. 

“Steve?” he yelled, his voice echoing in the jet, but not reaching outside. He stood up and opened the tailgate, only to find snow  _ everywhere _ . He could hear fighting sounds in the distance.

His hands started to itch and burn. He had to help. They helped him countless times, this was the least he could do, right? 

A few snowflakes landed on his face. Of course it was snowing right now, with his luck it was almost expected.

Thank god it wasn't storming. Yet.

He huffed out an icy breath, watching as the fog disappeared into the misty sky. The snow started falling harder and harder.

He had to hurry up, before he had another “freeze attack”. 

The glowing started in his hands and feet, lifting him off of the, now snow covered, tailgate. Snow started to melt under him, but was immediately replaced by fresh snow. 

Yep. It was in fact a snowstorm. 

He flew as fast as he could go, letting his senses lead him towards there where he needed to go.  _ Steve.  _

Following the track he made in his head, he felt the frost beginning to bite at his skin, turning it lighter and slowly turning into frostbite. He rubbed his hand over the spots. It didn’t help, it never did. 

“Bucky? What are you-” Steve cut himself off and dodged a punch from a man wearing black and red. “What are you doing here?” 

“Helping you,” Bucky spoke, his voice a little bit louder than normal as he started to attack the men. The frostbite got worse every second, clawing and gnawing at his skin. It took every bit of self-control left in him to stop himself from just, dropping into Steve’s arms.

  
  


It took Natasha, Steve, and Bucky an hour to kill and capture the men. The second the fighting stopped, Bucky dropped to the ground. He was cold to the bone, shivering, and desperately trying to keep his skin warm. His powers started flickering, and the heat coming from them wavered. 

“Buck- get up, come on, we’re done. We’re gonna get ya back to the base, okay? Just keep your eyes open, you can d-” 

Bucky couldn’t. The rest of Steve’s words faded into nothingness, in sync with his sight disappearing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the tenth chapter! Have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudo's and comments are appreciated <3 )


	11. Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where everything is perfect and they say the Three Big Words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last real chapter!!! holy shit!!!
> 
> what a journey this was, my god.
> 
> sappy shit next chapter :)

**_February 10._ **

The cold breeze of the hospital room had lulled Steve to sleep, his head resting next to Bucky’s hand on the bed. He’d been there for what felt like a week, but looking at the clock, it had been 16 hours max. 

Bucky hadn’t moved a single time. No twitching, no stirring, not even a heavy breath. When he opened his eyes, Steve didn’t notice. He only noticed when he felt a hand on his head.

“Bucky?”

“‘m awake.” 

“Good.”

Words were hard at that moment. Steve knew what he wanted to say, but didn’t know how to do it. 

It seemed so simple. Just three words. Only those three words. 

But those three words weighed heavier than anything. They meant so much more than kisses and sex, so much more than what some people thought.

It meant comforting hugs and reading each other to sleep after a nightmare, not having to talk to communicate, it meant trusting each other enough to be vulnerable, to just relax without worrying about getting hurt. 

How, how was he ever supposed to say all that? To say that with just three words?

And how could he expect Bucky to feel the same for him? 

Fortunately for Steve, Bucky talked first.

“We talked about feelings.” 

Steve sat upright, looking at Bucky with thousands of thoughts racing through him.

“I think...I feel something. For you. Is that okay?” Bucky sounded unsure.

“You mean-”

“I.. love you?” The words felt strange. Unfamiliar, but not bad.

“I love you. I love you.” Bucky kept muttering it, looking at Steve like he hung the moon in the sky with his bare hands. 

“I love you, too.” 

Comfortable silence followed, for a minute they allowed themselves to just… be together. No more words were needed.

And right before Bucky wanted to say something, Steve reached for his face. And kissed him. Just like that. No more words, no questions asked, just them being as close as they could be for a couple of seconds.

They let go, softly cradling each others‘ face with both hands, and resting their foreheads together. 

“Was that okay?” Bucky whispered, looking as confused as he was the first weeks after they met.

“Yeah.” Steve smiled, just as reassuring as in the beginning.

They changed. A lot. But somehow, they were still the same people as back then. 

This was just… so much better than how it used to be. 

**_February 11._ **

The next day, Bucky’s frostbite was almost fully gone. The skin was healing, colored a soft pink instead of the icy blue from before. His powers were still weak, but at least they were back. 

“Hurts,” he whimpered, curling into himself as Steve changed the bandages.

They got back to the tower the day before, with Bucky in a wheelchair (which he absolutely  _ despised _ ) since the frostbite on his legs hadn’t healed yet.

“I know, I’m sorry honey, almost done,” Steve soothed him, trying to be as gentle as he could be. 

Changing the bandages was absolute hell. They stuck to the new skin, and if he wasn’t careful he could seriously harm the skin, setting the healing back to the beginning. So he had to go agonizingly slow, which caused more pain, but less damage, and then wrap the new bandages around the wounds. 

The whole process took around an hour, and had to be done every 6 hours. 

Absolute. Hell.

“There we go. You okay?” 

Bucky sobbed, clinging to Steve, and almost tearing his shirt with his metal arm. The pain slowly ebbed away, leaving a dull burning feeling all over his body. 

His sobs turned into soft pained sounds, and those sounds turned into heavy breathing. They sat like that for a while, the room silent besides their breathing. 

“Do you want to go eat something?” 

“No.” Bucky whined, burying his face in Steve’s neck. 

“You haven’t eaten anything today, that’s not healthy honey,” Steve spoke, softly rubbing Bucky’s back. “Come on, I’ll carry you.” 

He heard an approving hum and lifted Bucky up, carefully avoiding the fresh bandages with his hands. 

When they walked into the living room, Tony and Sam were there, talking while the coffee maker made a shit ton of noise. 

“Hey, Chatterbox. You good?” 

Bucky turned his face away from them. 

“Bucky, come on. Don’t be rude.” Steve chuckled, sitting down on the couch with him. 

“Hurt.”

“The frostbite hasn't healed yet?” 

“Almost. Bandage hurts.” 

Steve got up to get food from the kitchen, when Sam made eye contact with him. 

“Since when are you two so lovey-dovey?” he whispered.

  1. _oh fuck_



Five minutes later, Tony, Sam, and Nat knew. They didn't react surprised at all. 

“Oh. I thought you two were already a couple?” Natasha asked, smiling at the confused looks Steve and Bucky gave each other after she seemed to have just appeared out of nowhere..

“Damn. Were we that oblivious?” Steve sat down on the couch next to Bucky, and threw a pillow at Tony, who was listening from the kitchen.

“Absolutely! You guys were constantly gazing into eachothers eyes like this is the fucking Twilight Saga.” Tony yelled back.

Natasha smiled, watching from the doorway as always. She locked eyes with Steve. 

_ Congratulations Steve. You found the one. Keep him. _

She didn’t need to speak to tell him that. Steve nodded back at her, and smiled softly at Bucky nestling against his shoulder.

They talked. After a while, Bucky got tired, so he pulled his feet up on the couch and rested his head on Steve’s chest.

“You tired?” 

He just hummed and closed his eyes.

Maybe falling down to earth wasn’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the last chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


	12. You deserve a ring the size of Saturn’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The book cover and art work thing!!!!

Oh my god i'm done.

After almost 10 months of writing, crying, being cnfused and aving un, i'm done. 

The fic isn't done yet though!!! In a while, there might be some more of these oblivious idiots <3 

Mark my words. 

Thank you to my lovely beta Writingstoriesinmyhead for betaing this thing <3

Thank you to m artist Omni for the gorgeous art that i may or may not have cried over. 

Thank you mods for this event.

Thank you, one of my irl friends, who told me to just do it and sign up for tis. Without her i wouldve never done this. 

Thank you for reading this clusterfuck of a fic,

<3 <3 

**Author's Note:**

> That was the third chapter! Thank you for reading it, have a nice day!
> 
> (Kudos and comments are appreciated <3 )


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